La Petite Mort
by Sagarmatha
Summary: Scene between Azazeal and Cassie after her death. Explains why Azazeal went to Thelma and told her that Cassie wanted to see her.


"_Azazeal_" came as hushed whisper to his ears. He jerked awake from a fitful sleep and looked about the room. This wasn't the first time over the past few days that he had heard his name whispered in the air.

After a few minutes he settled back down again to a restless sleep, but was woken again by soft hands touching his face. He did not open his eyes, but focused on the hands as they grew stronger, more insistent, and familiar. As they worked their way to more sensitive areas, his breath grew ragged and he took handfuls of sheets. Lips brushed against his and his eyes flashed open, "_Cassie_" he breathed, but all of the sensations stopped in that instant and he was alone once again.

He stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. He had known that she would not cross over easily, but he had not prepared himself for the possibility of her coming to him so soon. Would she hate him? Would she want something from him? Could he stand to see her again knowing that she must ultimately leave him again?

He finally closed his eyes again as the dawn light began to come weakly through the windows. But seemingly as soon as he did this, he heard "Azazeal" spoken strongly next to him. He opened his eyes and there indeed was Cassie lying next to him as if she'd been there all night. He rose up on one elbow to look at her. They stared at each other for a few minutes and it seemed that she was searching his face for answers to questions she had always wanted to ask but would never speak aloud.

Finally, he broke the silence and said, "You've come."

She nodded, "I could not leave until I found out for myself what is going on here and decided what to do about it."

"And?"

"I need you to do a favor for me."

He smiled a cunning smile, "And what if I say no?"

She moved closer and whispered, "I have a feeling that you won't," with a playful grin on her face.

Again for a few seconds they just looked at each other as Azazeal's smile faded and he eventually looked down and asked quietly, "What is it that you want from me?"

"I need to see Thelma and I'm not able to make her see me…but I bet that you can."

"And why would you want to do that, may I ask?" He looked at her again.

"It's none of your business, but if you have to have a reason let's just say that I miss her, alright."

"I don't believe you," he said a bit sadly, "you must have an ulterior motive."

"Well you would know all about that," she snapped.

He looked away from her again and said, "I could help you, but this is not an easy thing. There are other forces at play here that will not tolerate interference."

"And you had me thinking that you were in charge of all of this," she said smartly.

"No…..I am not," he said seriously.

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course not" he smiled "But I don't think that I can deny you, even if you conspire against me."

She smiled back.

Getting serious again he said, "This meeting cannot be long and you must remember that we will most likely be watched."

"Will this cause any trouble for you?"

With a grin he said, "That depends on what you have to say to her."

"Nothing of any importance to Heaven or Hell," she said with a playfully guilty shrug.

She moved forward again and kissed him deeply, rolling on top of him, as she grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head. With power that she never fully tapped into as a mortal, she fixed his wrists there with mental rope, and allowed her hands to move over his body as she continued to kiss him. She explored every inch of him as his breathing grew louder and after a few minutes she began to use her mouth to go back over the same places that were now burning from her touch.

He didn't resist her even for a second, but he knew that she must be up to something. He just didn't care. She was with him now and that was all he wanted to know. In this moment, he was not willing to do anything that would push her away. He had done enough manipulating of her and he had lost her anyway. Just this once he would appreciate this moment with her as he used to ages ago as a Watcher, bearing witness to truly human moments in a way that humans themselves could not experience them. He supposed that this was the greatest punishment from the fall, that he could still feel the great poignancy of the human experience and could appreciate the human condition so fully.

As she focused more and more on his body, without her realizing, the mental rope around his wrists loosened to a point were he could easily break it. He smiled to himself, but as she moved lower and lower and her mouth closed over him, he lost all thought and just grabbed the bedposts and moaned. She did not intend to stay here this long, but she was distracted by his reaction to her attentions. In all of their moments together, he had always been the one in control, and she had differed to his experience, which had never failed her. She had considered taking more initiative, but was afraid that he would laugh as her as if she were a child. She had now learned many, many things in her absence, for time did not flow the same on all planes of existence.

He was rocking now to her rhythm, but she came out of her reverie and released him. She allowed her body to drag against him as she moved back up to his mouth. Just as her lips touch his again, she brought him into her, and his lips grew weak as his body tensed and he moaned a little louder.

He wanted to touch her badly now and almost reached for her, but it seemed to him that if he were to move his hands now he would lose the small inkling of trust that had brought her to him now. In thinking about her since her death, he had come to the conclusion that he had been foolish to think that with her suspicious nature that she could ever trust him while he appeared to be manipulating the situation. The same arrogance that attracted her also kept her at bay, because for all of her weakness, she was not a fool. Well, manipulation came so naturally to him that it never occurred to him to be completely truthful.

As she fell into a rhythm again he followed her and could feel the tension in her body increasing as she closed her eyes. She began to moan softly, using him for herself, and slowly the intensity began to build until she was wild with pleasure. He looked up at her now as her movements began to slow and she became quiet. He still did not know for sure if she loved him the way she did on that first night they had together. Something had happed that night between the two of them that changed him forever, but she adamantly deny it. Even now and the day she took Malachi she was not fully with him. Perhaps he would never fully understand her and what had happened between them, but he would always seek to have her forgiveness again, no matter how hopeless it was.

She dropped back down to kiss him again, but did not completely stop moving against him, as their lips met again and again. She was gentle at first but her movements grew more and more demanding as she focused her attention back on him. He soon felt the room dissolving, as the pleasure increased within him and soon there was nothing but her. Intensely, he felt that giving in to this pleasure would end his existence and he half-heartedly fought against it, but he knew this feeling was a reaction to what he knew would follow. The French refer to as _la petite mort_, the little death, and eventually it would take him and overwhelm him, but for now he would hover above it and keep her will him a little longer.

She continued to torment him and finally, his body shuddered, he cried out, and his hands griped the bedposts again, but where his consciousness was there was only the pleasure flowing in waves over him. As she left him and disappeared in to the air she whispered, "_I love you_" and "_Protect our son_. _He is still innocent." _

Eventually the bed and then the room came back into focus, but his body was still humming. She had certainly pick up a trick or two on the other side and had developed her mental powers. She would have been a force to be reckoned with if she had had those abilities while alive.

After Cassie left him, she wondered if she was being foolish. She had long ago realized that she could not make a great impact on this war, but what she did know was that her son was still a child and if Ella was going to kill him, she wanted it to be a fair fight. Her efforts would be directed to protect them both until the final battle took place. She knew Azazeal would fiercely protect their son, but Ella would also need some help too.

The next day Azazeal went to Thelma with a proposition: a chance to see Cassie if she would bring him the Stone of Belial. He wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to get that jewel back. He thought he made a pretty convincing case to her and he left to await the time they were to meet.

Thelma came to him at the appointed time and he took her to a place where Cassie and she had often sat and talked. He told Thelma to close her eyes and focus on thoughts Cassie as he moved off a bit to focused his power to lift the veil that separated Thelma and Cassie.

As they talked, he wasn't really listening, but watching Cassie for one last time. He knew that once this moment was over, she would cross over to a place were neither she nor all his power could bring about another meeting. Not in this lifetime. She glanced over to him with a worried look on her face and told Thelma that she had to go. As he watched Cassie give Thelma a parting kiss, a tear rolled down his face and then she disappeared. Forever.


End file.
